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You may well ask

26th July, 2004. 6:57 pm. oi

i remember this life...

(1 ear filled |Scream!)

25th September, 2003. 3:57 pm.

Amina Lawal won her appeal, she won't be executed.

Although the prosecution can still appeal, in which case we'll wait and see again.

With the eyes of the world watching, I don't really know if this was a bend under international pressure or part of a trend in civil rights.
Regardless, it's good to know that there exists the possibility of change under global criticism and objection.

Some leaders would do well to find a lesson in this.

(4 ears filled |Scream!)

23rd September, 2003. 8:23 am. from buzzflash, pretty funny.

Bill O'Reilly's Crack-up on Parade!</b></font></p>

by Scott Anderson


If you enjoyed watching Bill O'Reilly being handed his ass in a hat over the past few months by Al Franken, find this week's Parade magazine in your local paper. It's downright disturbed -- like Norman Bates disturbed.

Apparently a contributing editor of this silly insert, O'Reilly uses the pretense of excerpting his new book to write the cover story about himself.

1. Before the text starts, a childhood photo is shown with the odd caption "Bill O'Reilly grew up in Levittown, N.Y." He repeats the claim of growing up in Levittown in the article. This Levittown claim is Franken's first example that O'Reilly lies about his background. O'Reilly has already capitulated the point to Franken by admitting he grew up in Westbury, and has changed his website to say he grew up in "working class Long Island." Starting the article with this caption is throwing down some kind of gauntlet, but to whom and why?

2. The photo above the caption is spooky. His mother is centered with a perfect smile, and little Bill is in front, clear and happy. Meanwhile, poor dad is blocked by little Bill's head, his mouth is expressionless, and the flash glare in his glasses takes out his eyes. Father issues, anyone?

3. Two other pictures are on the facing page, one of little Bill's little league team and the other of Bill with a group of men in Hawaii. The caption by the little Bill baseball photo reads "I've spent a lifetime assembling friends who will look out for me." So one would think the men below are the baseball team reassembled to look after Bill. But wait: it turns out that as far as we know, Bill never spoke to any of his little league team again. About the men in Hawaii, the caption reads "John Blasi (fourth from left) has been a friend from the first grade." One can reasonably conclude that the other seven men in the photo were not friends from the first grade. Probably not the baseball team. Who are these guys? Several have their arms around each others and all look happy and loose. Except Bill, who looks grim, formal, and is far in the background, alone, almost as though he were caught by the camera while walking by. How sad.

4. In the article, O'Reilly writes "Cultivating and nurturing good friends is not easy. Every two years, I put together a trip for a bunch of my male friends. Some people are amazed I can get a couple of dozen guys to show up in a place like Hawaii for a few laughs and a little hell-raising. But these are people who know the value of friendship." The photo of Hawaii is dated 1999. There are eight men in the picture. Why not show a photo from 2001 or 2003? And does Bill "put together a trip" by paying for all his good buds? Hell, I'll go. And does he really consider getting together once every two years cultivating a good friendship? To sum up all these questions -- why should your one piece of evidence that you have friends raise so many questions?

5. The article is mostly about how awful people are: "weasels," "pond-scum," "selfish jerks," "the worst person this side of Saddam Hussein."

6. O'Reilly includes a sidecap listing "ten rules of effective parenting." Here's the thing. I can find no evidence Mr. O'Reilly has kids, or a wife. I've found several charity event announcements and he always attends alone. He clearly defines his relationship with John Blasi (friend since the first grade) in both the photo caption and text. You would think he might mention the source of his parental knowledge. Or the woman who is forced to deal with him on a full-time basis. He calls himself "a family man" on his website bio, but says nothing about specifics i.e. whether he has a specific family or just in favor of families in general. Does O'Reilly believe he has a wife and kids in Levittown, where he grew up?

7. Quote: "Many 'therapists' are looking out for your checkbook, not you. So let's disperse[sic] with the psychobabble." From this we can assume he will not be seeking professional help anytime soon, which means he may be that much closer to an involuntary commitment.

The theme of betrayal, coupled with the obsession with "despicable people," "selfish, manipulative people," "untrustworthy people," mixed with the odd assertions that he is from Levittown (not true) and has friends (questionable from this article), leads me to think that Al Franken has inadvertently managed to drive O'Reilly out of his mind.

I say inadvertently as it is my impression that Mr. Franken means no harm to anyone. Except Anne Coulter, but who doesn't want to see her head on a stick? In any event, we could see a big splotchy crack-up on national television at least as dire as Michael Savage's in the next couple of weeks.

Scott Anderson
Bergenfield, New Jersey.


22nd September, 2003. 10:38 pm.

On Friday when our couch came, Puar freaked. Maintenance was also replacing our air conditioner, and when they pulled it out of the wall, Isabel blew our apartment apart. Puar was so scared, by the couch and the couch guys and the maintenance guys and the wind, she shredded through the cloth on the bottom of the bed, climbed up into the boxspring and wouldn't come out. When we tried to get near her she yelled and hissed and attacked everything in reach, which luckily wasn't much since she was inside the boxspring. After 6 or 7 hours she emerged, but she harbored a brutal grudge. She would approach the couch and hiss, cry, etc. Sara was laying on the couch for a while, and when she got up and tried to pet Puar, Puar cried and hissed at her. I mean she was really pissed.
But right now she's curled up in a ball on the couch, covering her face with one paw. I went over and gave her some smooches and she hardly twitched, gave a tiny little purr. I think she likes the couch now.


22nd September, 2003. 10:27 pm. Temporary God

According to the New Yorker, Chuck Palahniuk has caused 27 people to either vomit or faint at his recent readings of a yet-to-be-published story, some sort of masturbation-gone-wrong tale that he originally heard from a crippled sexaholic...

If i could bear children, i would strive to spawn little Palahniuks.

(3 ears filled |Scream!)

19th September, 2003. 2:29 am. i hear someone speaking but i do not know from whence it came

"... T.V. tells a million lies. The paper's terrified to report
anything that isn't handed on a presidential spoon,
I'm just profoundly frustrated by all this.
So Fuck You Man.
Fuck 'em
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If they weren't there we would have created them. Maybe, it's true,
but I'm resentful all the same. Someone's got to take the blame.

I know that this is vitriol. No solution, spleen-venting,
But I feel better having screamed. Don't you?"

Current mood: theta bursting.


17th September, 2003. 2:00 am.


(1 ear filled |Scream!)

17th September, 2003. 1:30 am.

My damn mom is coming here this weekend, and so is sara's mom.
They're all going to look at wedding places.
You need to book places like 2 or 3 years in advance here.

It's pretty silly, by the time sara and i marry we'll have been together for more than 10 years. we've been living together for 5 years. i bought her ring on a payment plan 4 years ago after she picked it out. i 'officially' proposed and gave her the ring a year ago, finished paying for it just recently. weddings are so expensive, i can't help but feel it's a formality, or a technicality, or a legality. we've been together for a long time, and we'll be together forever.

i absolutely do not want to see my mom, i'm pissed that she's coming here, but since we'll never be able to afford a wedding ourselves, we'll need our parents' help.
sara is making me come along to look at the places they have appointments for.
which means i'll have to talk to my mom probably.

in some respects i think i'd enjoy being mute.
scrap the small talk.


16th September, 2003. 8:00 pm.

People are dangerous at any speed.
People are people are not people.
There are bad people and good people.
They are not the same people.
Some people judge other people as bad or good.
Other people judge people as relatively similar.
Some people like the sentiment that people are relatively similar.
Some people like to believe we're all the same.
People are not all the same.
Bad people are not good.
Most good people are not good, but they're less bad than bad people.
There are more bad people than good people.
When people move around they bump into other people.
When bad people bump against other people bad things happen.
Good people get hurt by bad people.
If people didn't move around, they wouldn't hurt other people.
People should stop moving.
People should all stay home.
People are dangerous at any speed.
People are not people.
After two or three repeats, the word 'people' becomes funny-sounding and abstract.

(1 ear filled |Scream!)

12th September, 2003. 9:54 am.

i wish things were different.
i'd like a peaceful day,
a day when nothing happens at all anywhere,
when everyone has a relatively uneventful time.

everything has been so bad lately.
everything disturbs, sickens, saddens, rots.
i have the biggest presentation of my life on monday
and i haven't thought about it at all in days.
i've lost my focus, i can't get it back.

i want a commercial.
i need a commercial.


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